Jan 4, 2009

Durham Has the Worst Roads in the World

Hello friends,

Welcome to Durham Has the Worst Roads in the World where I will document--in painstaking detail and at the risk, at times, of my own life--how awful the roads of otherwise quite charming Durham, North Carolina, truly are. I will document this awfulness with words, moving & still images, and--at times--recorded sounds.

Since the roads here are so bad and there are so many of them, I trust I won't run out of material any time soon.

A eternally insufficient thank you to my trusty, invaluable, talented assistant, Violet Rumble, Durham Has the Worst Roads in the World's chief photographer.

Why, you might ask, am I going to the trouble of documenting Durham's terrible roads? Because they are terrible. The picture at the top of the page would be called "just the beginning" usually, but how does infinity have a beginning? at what point does the universal have a middle? at what dark wall do you find yourself at the end of "everything"? What I mean to say is that that pockmarked crater, gaping gravel filled pit is a small, small piece of a web of truly terrible roads that make life in Durham, North Carolina, significantly worse than it otherwise would be.

I've lived in towns where one could ride their bike, talk on a cell phone, and drink coffee all at the same time! Here in Durham, riding a bike--with pothole after pothole and crack after crack--is merely standard training for a hot night on the mechanical bull down at Durham's own Shooters Night club (on, I might add, the abysmal Morgan St.)

I want to make it clear, despite all this, that I find Durham an extremely pleasant place to live; the people are friendly, it's small enough to feel comfortable, but large enough to get lost in, and beautiful old brick buildings--once tobacco warehouses--lumber block after block. I am a happy Durham resident whose happiness could reach ecstatic levels with a little effort on the part of the Street Maintenance Division of the Public Works Department.

So take a bumpy stroll with me, friends, down the worst roads in the world....

happy travels,
Ken

600 or so block of N. Duke Street.

14 comments:

Chris Vitiello said...

it's cause they fill the potholes with two parts asphalt, one part rich creamery butter

Ken Rumble said...

Mmmm, butter.....mmmmm, butter and gravel......mmmmmmmm.........

You can't tell, but that little crack up there is a good ten feet deep.

Know what that means? A whole lot of butter.....

happy travels,
Ken

evie said...

well, actually the worst roads in the entire world are in new jersey, but since that's a state, rather than a city, i won't seriously challenge your claim. but if you and violet get bored with the little dips and chips of durham streets, feel free to come up here and document the trenches (war zone implications intended) one negotiates driving in jersey city...

: )

Ken Rumble said...

Hmmm, unitl I see some documentation, Evie, I'm going to have to maintain some skepticism.

You may be a doubter now, but after just a few short months of reading this blog--you, too, will be convinced (smile.)

happy t,
K

matt said...

kind of makes you miss g-boro, huh?

Ken Rumble said...

Exactly, my friend.

h.t,
K

Chris Vitiello said...

those aren't potholes, they're geothermal vents. the city has a plan to run our nonexistent but perpetually imminent commuter rail on geyser steam by autumn 3012

Miss Lonelyhearts said...

Check out Pickett Rd near 15/501. I believe the military has reserved it for air strike drills.

Ken Rumble said...

Sweet -- thanks for tip. Yesterday I drove by one of those big, huge steel plates that are supposed to cover holes (over on Chapel Hill) and the thing was turned like 50 degrees the wrong way -- damn, I wished I'd had my camera. Though chances are it'll still be that way tomorrow....

h.t,
Ken

patrick said...

New Jersey has great roads when compared to Pennsylvania. The DOTs don't even compare. Durham's roads are worse than the New Jersey average, especially given that New Jersey's road experience larger temperature swings, greater traffic volumes, and far more road salts.

patrick said...

Personally I love driving over rich creamery butter and geothermal vents, like fourwheelin' a dairy farm in Iceland. Now that's fun. These here things will swallow you whole, car and all.

Ken Rumble said...

Yeah, NJ's got a good excuse -- here in D'ham....well.....

And damn, fourwheeling a dairy farm in Iceland is hilarious!!! and sounds like a ton of fun.....

h.t,
Ken

patrick said...

4 wheeling, except you've got cinderblocks for wheels. i forgot to complete the analogy. my mind, like rich creamery butter.

asiuo said...

dear sir, i just wanna say that ur blog name is unique
like a man walks from africa to america, very long :) :) :)